Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Is your credit card any gooder?

So, about 2 weeks ago, I activated a new credit card and talk to the woman in India who kept wishing me a good evening.
Part of her script was to make me sign up for a purchase protection plan at 89c on $100 balance;
ME: no thanks,
HER: I will send you the information and then you have 30 days to cancel it,
ME: I don't want it already
HER: Yes, but I will send you the information, THEN you can cancel it
ME: Um, can I cancel it now?
HER: Not until you have the letter confirming it. Is there anything else I can help you with.
ME: um.... no thank you?

Today, I get the letter, so I call the number to cancel the plan within my 30 days. This time the company is clearly US based and is called the Purchasing Protection Plan - I get an American chick on the phone.
HER: thank you for calling, may I have your full 16 digit account number
ME (totally calm and normal): I got this letter and there's only 4 digits, can I give you those?
HER: Can you verify your name for me?
ME: I am Sadie Ryan
HER: Can you verify the last name associated with this call?
ME: Ryan
HER: and who am I speaking with
ME: Sadie Ryan
HER: what is the address associated with this account
ME: Blah blah
HER: for security purposes we need the zip code
ME: Blah blah
HER: How can I help you?
ME: When I activated this credit card, they activated your protection plan and told me I could cancel when I got the letter. I got the letter, I'd like to cancel.

(here's where it got weird; I didn't lose it at any point during this, but man! she was fightin' for her job)

HER: You realise this is an optional plan
ME: Yes, I'd like to opt out
HER: But you do realise that in the event of your untimely passing, with this plan, your debt would be paid off in full
ME: I'm not planning on dying soon
HER: I didn't mean to imply that you were going to die, just that this plan offers exceptional coverage
ME: I'd still like to cancel it
HER: You do realise this plan is optional
ME: Yes, I'd still like to opt out. Cancel it. Please.
HER: You realise that if you cancel it, you won't be covered in the event that
ME: Please cancel. Cancel please.
HER: Okay, well you have a nice day.
ME: can you confirm this for me?
HER: Excuse me?
ME: can you confirm that I cancelled the plan?
HER: You will receive a letter that will confirm in full that you have elected to cancel this optional protection plan. Is there anything else I can help you with?
ME: (Desperately trying not to ask if she does plumbing as well) No thanks. Have a GREAT day.

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